Until Next Time Read online

  “Where do you live?

  “The café, obviously.”

  “I didn’t know sarcasm was your second language.”

  “Only on the weekends”—I pause, smirking at her—“Currently, I live with Burke. It’s temporary. I live out of a suitcase and the stuff I buy when I run out of clothes and don’t have time to do laundry.”

  “When did you become a nomad?”

  I press my lips together for a couple of seconds. Why am I telling her all this shit? My policy is to keep living, help others, and never speak about what’s happening in my life.

  “My house became haunted to the point that I couldn’t live there anymore. One day, I packed some clothes and checked into a hotel. I haven’t been back. I guess that’s another reason I travel around the country so much. Also, it’s why I visit Eros in Costa Rica so often.”

  “Is that avoidance or denial?” she asks. “Who knows, but it’s valid. Since I got kicked out of the house after Pax died, I didn’t get the choice to leave the house we shared. I took Pax’s belongings with me but then…I lost them anyway.”

  I interlace my fingers with hers and squeeze her hand gently. Did she grieve, or has she been too busy to do it? Maybe we’re not that different. Or perhaps I want to find someone who’ll understand me. Is it so wrong to want to have a friend who recognizes that I’m broken and doesn’t try to fix me? This feels good. I’ve been talking with Autumn more than I have with anyone else since Callie died. I keep vomiting words and offering information I swore I’d take to my grave. Talking to her feels safe.

  “So, you’re planning on moving back to Boston?”

  “No.” The word comes out with such force that she frowns.

  Okay, she mouths. “Then buying a house around here might be a good idea, but I wouldn’t get a dog just yet.”

  “I’ll still travel to Boston. The original Café Fusion is there. I have three branches, so I’ll visit often. Plus, I need to check on the Eat Good restaurant too.”

  “You own the Archer’s Eat Good restaurant?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I take it you’ve eaten there a few times?”

  “Yeah, when I couldn’t afford groceries, and I didn’t want to tell my family that things were bad. They provided food for us. They even gave me lunches for Matilda.”

  Knowing that I helped Autumn in some way makes me happy. It’s gratifying. I plan on sticking close by in case she needs someone to lean on when things get rough.

  “So, if I ever get a dog, will you visit me?”

  “You sound like a creepy guy in a white van offering candy.”

  “Really?”

  “No, but getting a dog so I’ll visit you is definitely weird.”

  “That wouldn’t be the reason,” I say defensively because I don’t like that she’s calling me on my bullshit.

  “Companionship then?” She’s so intuitive. Companionship is the right answer, but in my mind, it’ll be more about her company.

  I’m glad we arrived at the toy store right then. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I wouldn’t tell her that maybe it was the best excuse to hang out with her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Autumn

  I don’t know how I went from trying to maim my family to inviting Zach to Matilda’s birthday party. Since I’m too busy with life, I don’t think much of it. The rest of the week, I avoid his calls and text him back only when it’s strictly necessary. I can’t justify my behavior, just as I can’t understand why I offered to help him design a clothing line for his coffee shop and asked him to come to Matilda’s birthday party at Aiden’s house.

  “By the look of those bags, I’m guessing you didn’t buy her a dog,” Miranda says.

  “Did you?”

  She shakes her head. “Nope. I can only keep up with one messy creature.”

  We share a knowing look. Aiden is a slob. “Thank you again for letting me throw her party in your house.”

  “Are you kidding? Thank you.” She turns to look at my brother.

  Aiden sits by the kitchen table with Matilda and six of her best friends. “Look at him all happy that he can teach those kids how to do origami.”

  “You should get one of those,” I suggest.

  “Origami kits?”

  I roll my eyes. “No. A baby who’ll be a rowdy boy like my brother or someone like you. If I have to choose, I’d rather have a niece.”

  “We’re practicing. Maybe next year, we’ll give you the news.”

  “Really?”

  Before she answers, the doorbell rings. My stomach flutters. What if it’s Zach? I’m tempted to run to the door and open it, but I stay in place. I’m not a teenager anymore. When I was in high school, I rushed to the door when I knew he’d come to visit my brother.

  Miranda arches an eyebrow. “I thought everyone was here. Did your mom decide to come?”

  I shake my head. “She said, and I quote, ‘I’m too old to deal with a bunch of little children.’”

  “She’s only sixty.”

  “Yeah, but she wants to avoid cleaning the mess.”

  “But that’s my favorite part of the party. I’m not letting you or anyone take that away from me.”

  “Neat freak,” I mumble and laugh.

  “I’m going to ignore your rudeness.” She lifts her chin and walks toward the door.

  “Who ordered a hot guy?” she says, watching from the peephole. “Tell my husband that I left him for the delivery boy.”

  “He can hear you,” I say, walking toward her so I can check out the delivery boy.

  Miranda opens the door, and she is right. The man is hot. Zach wears a dark green sweater and a pair of jeans and has not one but three presents with him. I told him not to buy her presents, didn’t I?

  “Hey,” he greets me.

  I mutter a weak, “Hi.” He looks like he came from a photo shoot and not to a children’s party. I try not to stare at his lips, but I can’t help myself. Would it be tacky if I plant a kiss on them? I could fake dementia or claim that I was aiming for his cheek.

  Miranda gives me a suspicious look. “You know the delivery guy?”

  I clear my throat. “He’s not delivering anything. Miranda, meet Zachary St. James. Zach, this is Miranda, Aiden’s wife and the pain in my ass.”

  “She meant her best friend,” Miranda clarifies, narrowing her gaze at the presents and then giving me a you-have-some-explaining-to-do-Autumn-Wickerton look.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” he says. “Where should I put the presents?”

  “I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t buy anything?”

  He shakes his head. “You agreed. I considered your request and realized that your daughter would argue with you and approve of my choice.”

  “You can’t disagree with his logic,” Miranda says. “Matilda is going to like you. We’re setting the presents in the living room. Why don’t you follow me?”

  A second later, Aiden stands next to me. “What is Zach doing in my house?”

  “He’s your best friend.”

  “I haven’t seen him in more than ten years. Try again.”

  Since I’m out of comebacks and snarky remarks, I say, “Hey, nice origami class.”

  “Autumn?”

  I glance down at my hands, hoping the answer will appear like some witchcraft from one of the fantasy books I like to read. It doesn’t. I look up at him, and I see the scowl starting to form. I let out a breath. “I bumped into him the other day. We got to talking, and one thing led to another and…” I shrug as if saying it just happened. There’s no more to it.

  “Hey, Aiden,” Zach says as he walks back with Miranda by his side. “How are you doing?”

  He glares at him suspiciously. “Good?”

  “I came the other day to visit you, but I heard you were preoccupied.”

  I glare at Zach.

  “Oh, I wasn’t supposed to say anything? Oops, I’m sorry.”

&
nbsp; My brother crosses his arms. “I never got the message.”

  “He didn’t give me one,” I say, almost squeaking. I feel guilty, and I’m not sure why. “I’ve been too busy with finals and work to gossip with you. If you have time this Wednesday, we can have a slumber party and talk about it.”

  Aiden gives me an unamused glance.

  “I’ll bring the nail polish,” Zach volunteers.

  Miranda laughs.

  Aiden remains silent.

  Okay, if that’s not enough, we can turn things around. “It was the day I came to mutilate you and your wife for signing a release so my daughter could talk to a podcaster—without my permission. You might be her guardian in my absence, but that doesn’t allow you to meddle in my personal life.”

  “She was trying to help,” Miranda says defensively.

  Okay, so she just confirmed my suspicions. It was them. We have to have a serious talk. That guardianship is for emergencies, not life meddling.

  Since I don’t plan on having that discussion during my child’s party, I wave a hand. “Water under the bridge. The recordings are gone, and you can thank your friend. He saved your life.”

  “Wait, they’re gone?” Miranda asks with such concern that you’d think I just told her that all the stores ran out of cleaning products. “But why?”

  “Technically, they’re still up,” Zach interferes. “You haven’t called Nyx or Persy to discuss the issue as you said you would.”

  I don’t have time to worry about those details I want to say, but I don’t. He is right, but I don’t answer because Miranda’s concern sends a few alarms. “Why are you worried that they are gone?”

  “I’m not.”

  I cock an eyebrow and cross my arms. “Miranda?”

  “We were hoping someone would answer and sweep you off your feet,” she confesses. “You know, as Meg Ryan did with Tom Hanks. In this case, you’re Tom, and the guy will be Meg.”

  “They got mail, you know,” Aiden adds, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “This isn’t a rom-com. It’s real life. I doubt anyone responded to those calls.”

  The way Zach begins to fidget around makes me a little nervous. “Is there something you’d like to share?”

  “No. I’m just here for the cake.” He looks around but doesn’t meet my gaze.

  The room is spinning out of control as I have a bad feeling about this. “Did anyone respond to those calls?”

  He shoves his hands inside his pockets and stares at the ground.

  “Zachary St. James.”

  After exhaling loudly, he nods. “Persy received some emails asking for your information. I read one where the sister said you’d be perfect for her brother.”

  Miranda claps excitedly. “I knew it’d work.”

  “I’m about to maim your wife,” I warn my brother.

  “It’s not like she’s going to forward them to you or give them your information.” Zach finally lifts his gaze.

  I stare at him for a couple of seconds. He knows more than he told me last Saturday or what he’s saying right now.

  Do I even want to know about those emails?

  How would he feel if Burke, Teddy, or any of his brothers tried to fix him up with a bunch of strangers? He’d hate it. I hope he doesn’t help my crazy brother and my ex-best friend, or he’ll end up sharing their fate.

  “But we can ask for them, yes?” Miranda’s excitement makes me want to puke.

  “Probably,” Zach answers, scrunching his nose. I want to take that as I don’t like this one bit.

  “We should do it,” she says enthusiastically.

  “I don’t know how to respond to that.” She might not see the light of day because I’m murdering her after the party.

  “Mommy!” Matilda rushes over. “We need a big house, a playground, and a dog.”

  Oh God, where did she get that idea? I hope that by a “big house,” she means something like her grandma’s condo. We can go to any park around the house. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the dog thing.

  All I can say is, “We do?”

  She gives me a sharp nod and then turns to look at Zach.

  “You’re new.”

  His cheek twitches, but he doesn’t laugh at her statement. Instead, he asks, “New?” After studying his arms, hands, and feet, he shakes his head. “No. I’m pretty old. Thirty.”

  “That’s not old. Is it, Mom?”

  “It’s not,” I agree. “I don’t think he understood what you meant.”

  Oh, she mouths.

  “I haven’t seen you before.” Her proper voice makes her sound a lot older than she is. “I’m Matilda. Who are you?”

  Zach bends down, so they’re at eye level. “It’s nice to meet you, Matilda. I’m Zachary St. James. My friends call me Zach. I used to go to school with your uncle Aiden.”

  She grins. “So, you know embarrassing stories about Mom?”

  “No, he doesn’t,” I say defensively.

  He gives her a conspiratorial smirk. “I probably know a few. We can exchange notes.”

  “I like you,” she says as if he just passed a test.

  “I like you too. Happy Birthday.”

  Matilda walks away with a wide grin, and for some reason I can’t explain, I clutch a hand over my heart. He put a smile on my child’s face that I had never seen before. I like it, but I snap out of the trance quickly. Soon he’s going to leave, and it’ll be back to just the two of us.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Autumn

  I’m thankful Aiden doesn’t say anything to Zach during the party. It might have to do with the fact that Zach helped him with all the activities he planned for the kids. He acted while Aiden read them a book. He found a place where we could hang the piñata that Miranda bought at the party store. He ran to the store for a set of candles since I forgot to buy them when I picked up the cake.

  While opening gifts, he took pictures. He emailed them to me so I could print them and make personalized thank-you notes. Though we opened all the presents, he requested we waited until the guests were gone before giving Matilda the ones he brought.

  Once the last child leaves the house, he walks toward the dining room to grab the gifts.

  “There’s more?” Matilda’s eyes grow wide along with her smile.

  “These two are from me,” he says, giving her a small box that I’m pretty sure holds jewelry. I bite my lip as she opens it carefully.

  “Wow!” Her eyes crinkle and the emotion on her face is priceless. “This is the best present ever.”

  She holds up a purple bracelet—her favorite color—that has an elephant charm. “Mom, can I wear it to school on Monday?”

  I don’t know if I should be upset at Zach or kiss him for being so thoughtful.

  I’m grateful that he suggested opening those presents later. I’d hate it if anyone’s feelings got hurt because of Matilda’s enthusiasm.

  “Let’s open number two,” she says.

  The second present is a Monopoly Unicorn edition board game, and there’s a small stuffed unicorn doll next to it. I have to give it to him. He’s good at buying gifts.

  When he hands her the third one, Zach says, “That’s from your mom.”

  I frown.

  She opens it carefully, trying not to rip the rose-gold paper. The white box doesn’t give us any clue as to what’s inside. The buildup inside me grows. What did he buy that I gave her? I want to snatch the box and open it fast, but I wait.

  Carefully, she opens the top. She pulls out a gray elephant with long ears.

  “You got me an African elephant,” she says excitedly as she hugs it tight. “Thank you, Mom.”

  “There’s more inside,” Matilda says anxiously.

  She pulls out a miniature elephant and a colorful cardboard paper.

  “You bought me a real elephant!” she says as she reads it.

  I look closer at the paper. It’s a certificate of adoption. I glare at Zach, who shrugs.

>   “Can I meet Emma, my elephant?”

  “They’ll send you pictures of her periodically, but you can’t meet her in person. We could take a trip to San Diego and have a personalized tour around the zoo.”

  “No. We can’t.” My voice comes out more forceful than I meant it to be.

  Matilda looks at me with those cute blue eyes of hers that remind me so much of Pax. It’s almost impossible to say no to her. “Please, Mommy.”

  Aiden shakes his head. “Zach, you and I need to have a drink before you continue to set a bad precedent.”

  “I’m just trying to help.”

  “Sure, but this isn’t helping. Please, walk with me.”

  “Aiden, stop. I can handle this.” I try to sound calm, but I’m angry. “Thank you so much for your kindness, Zach.”

  Matilda smiles at him. “Thank you, Mr. Zach. I love my presents.”

  “I’m glad. And as much as I’d love to stick around and help clean or listen to the Wickerton siblings lecture me, I need to go. Teddy and I are heading to a charity gala. I’m her plus-one.”

  Okay, so he’s leaving, and I should be okay with that. Then why do I want to ask him to stay a couple of hours or come to my house to talk? All I can muster up is, “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  “Happy Birthday, Matilda,” he says again. “I hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Zach.”

  “Miranda, it was a pleasure to meet you. Aiden, let’s get together soon, okay?” He waves at everyone and follows me toward the main door.

  Once we’re outside and away from Matilda, I say, “That was really nice of you, but you shouldn’t have done it. It sets a bar that I’ll never be able to reach.”

  “Did you look at her face? She was happy. That was my goal for the day, and I accomplished it.” There’s a special light to him when he says it.

  “I appreciate it more than you can imagine, but—”

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “The worst part is that I’m not sure why I’m upset.”